Yet that sort of denial — however bewildering it might seem — is an instinct we all have, thanks to one of the biggest myths in female friendship. In my book on the subject, I write about the false narrative that young girls are sold, from the moment they start school, about what it means to be a ‘good’ friend. The message drummed into them is one of ‘best friends forever’: that the pinnacle of perfect female friendship is to always have each other’s back, no matter what. It’s this encouragement to be unquestioningly loyal, I think, that stops us from asking hard questions about our friendships — particularly in our younger years, when having a BFF is judged to be more important than who that person actually is and whether they’re the right sort of friend for us.